A Long Ways Down
by inu-luvver10
Summary: I short series about Shinji and Kaworu.
1. The Fallen

I do not own Eva… but I wish I had a Kaworu…

A/N This takes place after Rebirth… Auska died on the beach and Shinji is the only one left alive in Tokyo-3

A Long Ways Down 

I screamed. I screamed like I had never screamed before. I poured all of my pain, anger, and heartache into that one scream. A scream that seemed to reverberate for miles and miles in the barren wasteland that was Tokyo-3.

I collapsed on the rubble filled shore of that lake and screamed. At some point, I can't remember when, those anguished screams turned to heart wrenching sobs. I curled up into a little ball on my side, facing the outcrop to my left. I studied that piece of twisted metal and concrete through teary eyes.

Memories flashed vividly before my eyes, blurring my already shaky perception of reality until I didn't know if I was dreaming or awake

Then I saw Him.

He was sitting leisurely upon the crumpled piece of metal, one knee drawn up to his chest. His hair glistened. It was a white as the first snows and as beautiful as spun silver. His crimson eyes stared out over the expansive lake that used to be down town. His delightfully angelic voice filled the crisp air with a wondrous melody that seemed to lift my very heart.

I picked myself up off the rubble, not even pausing to dust myself off. I took slow, apprehensive steps toward the figure before me. As I neared the apparition I reached out, fingertips begging for contact with the angelic being.

As my fingertips came within millimeters of his pressed and starched uniform, red eyes rounded on me, full of pain and despair.

I froze, fingers jerking back slightly, as if burned. His crimson gaze bore into mine.

"I'm disappointed in you, Shinji. I never thought you'd kill me. You murdered me, Shinji Ikari." he said.

And with that final, heart wrenching statement, he disappeared.

Suddenly I was on the ground once more, back ten feet away from the outcrop.

I looked over, scrambling to my feet, wishing with all my soul to see him there. But it was empty, as if God had whisked him away from me once again.

My heart fell. Despair washed over me.

"God!" I cried to the sky, "Why was he sent to me? What did I do that was so wrong, so terrible, that I had to fall in love him, just to have him taken from me the next day?"

As I cried to God, I fell to my knees, staring into the cloud covered skies, tears began to fall.

"Why?" I sobbed.

The tears streaking my face belied the growing anger I felt.

"Damnit God! I want him back! Give Kaworu back to me!" I screamed, cursing God.

Crimson eyes filled with tears. They fell gently onto pristine white robes. Shining white wings wrapped themselves around the Lilith in a comforting gesture.

Taking only a moment to ponder his next actions, Kaworu stood, emotions flying behind his eyes. He was tired. Tired of seeing this frail boy tear himself apart. It tore Kaworu's heart to shreds every time a tear slid down Shinji's face.

Kaworu unfurled his radiant wings, propelling himself forward. He flew with utmost haste towards his Creator.

"My Lord! I must speak with you." Kaworu desperately cried.

"I already know why you're here, Tabris." God replied, "I told you when you descended that you should not attach yourself to a Lilim. Now you must deal with the consequences of your action."

Kaworu felt a rage building in his chest, finally boiling over.

"Why is it so wrong? Why can't we love those made in your image? They are capable of loving others, so why are we deprived of that gift?" Kaworu bravely questioned.

"Because I made the Lilith to love me." God said harshly.

"Well you do not control my heart anymore." Kaworu said with a smirk, "That belongs to one Shinji Ikari."

Kaworu reached behind himself, gripping his magnificent wings at the base. With a wry smile towards God, Kaworu ripped his wings from his body, Falling from Heaven.

I had managed to drag myself from the edge of the lake, each footfall feeling heavier and more tremendous than the last.

Finally I had arrived at my destination. Kaworu's apartment, one of the few buildings that remained standing, if only partially, on the outskirts of town.

I stepped inside the doorway, slinging my Oxfords into the corner.

I was tired. So very tired. All I wanted to do was go to sleep. It was the only way I could sleep anymore, wrapped in Kaworu's thin gray blanket, which, even though it had been a month since he left, I could still smell his fresh, clean scent clinging to the tightly woven threads.

I stumbled through the kitchen when, suddenly, my sock soaked up something wet on the floor.

When I looked down at my foot, my eye's widened in shock.

My sock, normally white, was stained crimson. Covered in blood.


	2. The Reunion

The shock wore away, only to be replaced by fear. I looked down the hallway from the kitchen, a trail of blood led to the bedroom.

I sprinted toward the bedroom, ignoring the gooey feeling seeping into my socks. My panic overrode all other senses.

I pushed the shoji screen violently aside as I burst into the room.

The image before me made me stop dead in my tracks, paralyzed with disbelief and shock.

Kaworu lay on the bed, dingy grey blanket covering his naked form. Blood seeped from massive holes in his shoulder blades. It ran down his back and up his neck, staining his pale hair a bright crimson.

"Kaworu!" I cried, fear evident in my voice.

I rushed forward, climbing onto the bed and gingerly gathering his battered form into my arms. Tears stained my cheeks anew at the thought of loosing him again.

"Kaworu, please don't die Kaworu. I need you." I begged.

After a few moments, I gathered my composure enough to gently lay him back onto the bed, so that I could co and get a damp cloth to tend to his wounds. I grabbed a towel from the bathroom and after running some water in it, began to dab at the horrific wounds.

I had him sat up in my lap, his head resting on my shoulder so that I could get to his wounds and keep an eye on his face.

Kaworu's normally placid complexion contorted in pain at my attempt to stop the bleeding. Snowy eyelashes fluttered open with a grimace, taking in the sight of my face before him.

A pained smile crossed his lips before he spoke, "Hey, were you waiting for me?"

A smile shone through my tears, as the memory of that day after training came back to me. I placed the towel over his wounds, praying for the bleeding to stop.

"Yes Kaworu. I would wait for all time for you." I sobbed, overjoyed at the return of the angel.

Kaworu started to sit up, straining the muscles of his torn and battered body. His beautifully angelic face contorted with pain.

"Don't strain yourself, Kaworu!" I cried, worriedly reaching for him.

"Don't worry about me, Shinji." He said confidently, "Take the towel away, look at the wounds."

I raised my hand with trembling fingers, gently grasping the edge of the towel. I pulled it away slowly, wincing in empathy as I felt the towel pull and rip at the clotted blood. When the towel finally came away enough to see the wound, I gasped in disbelief. The wound had already stopped bleeding, new pink flesh forming at the edges.

"How did…" I started.

"I'm an angel, Shinji." He said sweetly, "I am the angel of intelligence, Tabris."

I looked up into his beautiful vermilion eyes, wonder and awe evident on my face.

Kaworu smiled at me. He raised his hand to my cheek, using his thumb to gently wipe away the last vestiges of my tears.

At this simple act of kindness, I finally broke down, losing all composure. I threw myself into Kaworu's arms.

"Kaworu, I've missed you so much." I sobbed hysterically, "I thought I'd never see you again. I kept having these awful dreams. Dreams about you, about Toji. You both kept telling me you hated me, that you blamed me for your deaths. That I murdered you."

Kaworu tucked me under his chin, holding me through the hysterics.

"Shh, Shinji." He soothed, stroking my hair lightly, "I don't blame you. Not for my death or anything else. And I certainly don't hate you."

I cried out all of my pain and suffering into his pale neck, clinging to him as if he were the only thing keeping my grounded to this plane of existence.

After a while the tears slowed, soothed away until only hiccups remained. I was bone tired and wanted nothing more than to sleep. Kaworu gathered me up, placing me in the chair in the corner so he could retrieve some nightclothes and change the sheets.

As soon as he was finished, I dragged myself over to the bed, lying down upon the fresh sheets. Kaworu soon turned out the light and joined me under the covers, snuggling close.

"I know your tired," he whispered into my ear, "Sleep now. I'll still be here in the morning, I promise."

I closed my eyes, slowly drifting off.

Just before sinking into that blissful darkness I mumbled to my angel, "I love you, Kaworu."

And with that I fell in to the most restful sleep I'd had in years.


End file.
